Learning Lesson 8: Accepting the Answer ‘No’

Story time –

So I contacted a person that I ‘thought’ may be interested in collaborating with an idea I was struggling to get off the ground. The way I worded was a long those lines.

I was excited refreshing the page eager to see her response expecting and imaging only positive eager excitement in return. However what I visualised and what actually happened was opposite to that.

She first told me that what I had described sounded nothing like a collaboration and decided it was in my best interested to understand the definition of collaboration.

I was slightly pfft and offended and wrote back asking her how she would know that considering she had not even heard what the idea was. She simply did not even give me a chance.

I was turned off completely by that brief attempted to putting myself out there that I promised never contact anyone again and I was going to turn these ideas into tangle goals I would have to do it on my own full stop.

Then I had time to reflect:

  • Perhaps it’s the way I worded the offer,
  • Perhaps I should be more realistic about how many people are willing and opened to opportunities
  • Perhaps I need to learn how to hassle and realise that I might get 100 No’s before I get that 1 yes!

I mean that person had every right to say No but I had so much belief and faith riding on the possibilities that my rejection was too much. I guess the learning lesson for this is don’t give up! Expect to be turned away to hear the No’s but don’t let it define you or discourage you.

I’m sure many of those success stories did not give up on the No’s they heard and look at where they are…Press on….

If you are having issues with dealing with negative feedback read our post on that topic.



Learning Lesson 7: Letting Go Negative Friendships…

I have posted a new youtube clip about how to deal with life’s struggles a few techniques I use is Appreciation & De-cluttering your environment & mind.

I use these techniques in order to refocus and realign my negative thoughts back to positive attractions. Over the last few days (correction weeks!) I have faced many struggles or should I say challenges related to various current circumstances including different relationships too.

I have been disappointed in a few key friendships I had and realised that the importance I had invested in those relationships or people was not being returned. This forced me to make me some hard decisions and got me thinking about the de-cluttering techique I use for objects or thoughts by removing unwanted or unneeded or things that held me back down with NO positive benefit.  It was now time to de-clutter some negative relationships/people as well.

When I applied this technique to these key relationships I decided it was time to let those people go.

  • One person I decided to just let things be stop texting or going out of my way to contact to maintain that friendship but remain a polite at functions or events we would see each other.
  • The other person I felt it was respectful to example why I was disappointed rejected and let down and wish them the best. I simply let them go.

Over the best week I have found my thoughts drifting back to my actions and confirm I still stand by my technique on handling these types of relationships and I feel like I have gained some value back within myself. Some respect that I do really deserve friends and people in my life because they will invest the love respect and happiness that I give.

Friendship is a two way street like any relationship. You give what you get. I wasn’t perfect but I am authentic and would have sat next to my friends checking in helping them deal with hard situations. I know I deserve support because I make sure I give it.

This decision was hard but I am on this journey of life the purpose is to surround myself with the right people, things, mindset.

I am on the hunt to make new connections friends with similar beliefs to me so if you are keen to touch base either on a business/networking level or friendship yell out comment, email. I am opened for the right people to come in and you are wanted and welcome here…

Learning Lesson 6: Taking the time

Where has the time gone? We are currently in the 11th month of 2015 can I just take a second and say “Where has this year gone?”

Time is such a valuable gift a commodity that we should relish. I wrote a blog related to appreciation and appreciating things in your life. This is another one of those things.
Time heals broken hearts, bones and mindsets.
With the hustle and bustle of distractions we have taking over our lives. Time is being stolen and I want to reclaim every millisecond I have left in world.
It’s starts today for me for the first time in awhile I’ve sat down and appreciated a nice cold beverage with silence and a ticking clock.
It was a brief quite meditation which I relished  in silence. It allowed me to reflect without distraction noise and gained back something.
I can’t explain but I felt like I had for a brief moment absolute clarity. It made me smile and the taste of that cold drink was more alive then I remembered. I had missed the simplicity of a cold drink because of the rush of time.
I gained so much for something so simple and to think it was free… I did not pay a single cent for that blissful moment (besides the beverage of course) the best things in life are free as they say…
My challenge for you is to give yourself the gift of time or a moment with your thoughts appreciating a nice bit of food or warm cuppa… Let me know if you felt the freedom or clarity that I mentioned?

Learning Lesson 5: Is hitting the pause button OK on Life?

The best part of watching a movie pre recorded on foxtel is you can hit that pause button with a swift touch of one button. Why can’t life be like this sometimes?

I wake and have bursts of energy and they always seem to be in the most inconvenient times why is that??? Like when I have to work my part time job or when my daughter is craving some mummy attention?!

Shes not going to understand “hold on hun mum needs to capitalize on her brilliance or craft idea or rare motivation burst…”

The times I seem to organise time to sit in my beautiful office and pour out all my creative juices is the time I am in a funk! What the hell I can not win!

Do you feel like that?

What if you could hit a magic pause button on that emotion of energy and inspiration and fast forward it to when you actually have time to capitalize on it….

I wish! The answer is it is OK to pause a moment write down that thought or idea and keep it for when you do have time to work with it. Carry around a small notepad one that is easily accessible.

Inspiration is not like a remote, it has no dictation of time, no authority and control its pure unique and it comes when it does. Enjoy the moment and when you have time to work on your dream or goals think back to where and why that thought came into your head. pull out that scribbled notepad and push yourself.

Don’t forget your why…joint joint joint.

Learning Lesson 4: Finding my Why Part 1 – the start

The word finding implies that you are looking for something. Not just your set of car keys but something that is significantly more important to ones growth.

I’m 30 a mother, had a career, a house/car, a man i love so you would think that I should feel content right? Nope.

Don’t get my wrong love my man and my child but I feel like I missed or missing something. I don’t believe I have fulfilled my potential by any means. I did what most of my friends did back in 2003 and went to Uni got a degree and went into the brain dead 9-5 slog. Like another robot off the factory compress and as time went past I looked around me and thought is this life? seriously? is this what it is all cracked up to be???

A sudden alarm clock went off in my head and I realised I needed to take the control of my story and work out what my ‘why’ is.

What is my purpose in this world? I have been reflecting back into my childhood and what I do realise is this:

  • I want to help people
  • I want it to be rewarding and NOT the money kind
  • I want it to change and have impact
  • I want to learn and give my experience to others

I want to help others break free of the factory programmed life of ‘traditional’ work and be who THEY WANT to be. I want to change what the ‘norm’ is and challenge the majority into thinking outside of the box.

How I do all this is still a work in progress (thats why  its part 1!) BUT I know by my gut tells me it feels right.

Whats your why?

Learning Lesson 3: How can you become happy?

What might make you happy may be different to me, maybe be different to her or him or that random person walking past…

My opinion on happiness is its objective because its in the eyes of the beholder. This is what makes each person unique and important to be part of this thing called life.

I believe happiness is a decision and it is something you will need to strive for each waking moment. Its a growing part of the human development like a plant that needs to be harnessed watered sheltered and sunned. It needs to be feed with the right nutrients to grow but it also needs to have the right environment around it. Sometimes the plant may grow better in shelter or shade however sometimes it needs the sun.

When I surround myself with certain types of people that are willing to settle for a shitty perspective I walk away from them feeling defeated. When I surround myself with someone like minded or listen to something that gives me hope, drive, focus, faith I feel like its all possible. What have I learned about becoming happy?

  • Its different for everyone
  • It takes time to develop and grow
  • It changes from day to day
  • It can be effected by who or what it is surrounded in
  • For me it needs balance body, mind, spirit –  use the plant as the example.

Given it needs balance this a decision because I am choose to feed good things into my body, surround my self and mind with positive things that give me drive and focus, not to mention spiritual development to give me faith and hope.

I don’t want to settle in life I want to strive for this I’m enjoying the challenge the growth and I am embracing change even failure. The equation I have adopted is (Balance + Learning) /Decision x Work = Happiness.

Go and find your happiness, enjoy the challenge and have a little faith.

To Hell With This

Whatever is holding you back whether it be a negative person in your life or a person who doesn’t understand you or even your own mind…
I want you to stand with me and to say – to hell with you person, thought or thing I am going to push passed this and progress MASSIVE IMPERFECT ACTION.

If you don’t know where to start just like myself, take a breath and just start anywhere. You could spend your whole life in time wasting it trying to make something perfect to start that business or that project or the office to start…
Make it simple and make a start… I have a list of things I need to do to get my buzz again here it is as an example:
1. Fix my website – issues with domain names
2. Blog x 50 posts as I am so far behind
3. Create new lines for summer/Christmas seasons
4. Product Hunting
5. Product Photos
6. Film something on my YouTube Channel – brain storming, set up, filming
7. Continue with Polaris etc etc etc

I could go on and on…so I decided to make it simple and blog about this struggle and the tips I am going to test and trail to see if I can push past this.
I don’t know about you but my mind is a road block the consistent messages of I’m not good at this, why would people be interested in what I have to say, I’ll never get this going, give up pick up another hobby.. blah blah blah… pushing myself to fail…

Well today I am going to try the following:

1. Tell my brain to SHUT THE F%&* UP WOMAN – TO HELL WITH THAT
2. Concentrate on a task that is simple to do
3. AND DO! Type it, think it, focus on it

I can do this and look its done – Massive Imperfect Action – HellA Yes. Good luck with your attempts today.

There is no box

Well what a crazy year for me, myself and I! 

I know on the front line it appeared we were quiet and had quite but the truth is we had many life changes occur. Several job changes  and a house move to top it off. We aren’t out of the woods yet with all the transitions. 
I’ve taken an attitude that this is another step to success, a step to a more fulfilling stage in our growing family and reaching out goals. 

With all this change going on around me it got me thinking about the way we think and how limiting it can be. My dad (affectionately called old man as a joke from me) is going through a huge transition himself, his long term business partner of 50 years and brother has called it a day and sold up his share of the business. 
My old man naturally in shock dealing with a morning emotion asked me what on earth he should do, how was he going to manage the whole load??!! 

I answered why don’t you look at the business as an opportunity to grow and add other elements outside of the core business. He looked at me like I was mad- I thought to myself what’s wrong with these suggestions I mean anything is possible right? 

My old man has been slogging it out these past 50 with an old school mindset which has indeed made him successful and don’t forget the hard work long days and nights out in the elements. But in times of change he isn’t able to adapt as easy. Why is that?

 If I look at my working history thus far I have to admit I have changed jobs and been flexible were needs arised out of stressful times to get by and make ends meet. 

So why am I limited by a 9 to 5 job slogging it out like my old man when I have proved time and time again I can do things different and maybe quicker to reach my business and personal goals. 

There are other ways and countless ways and if I opened my eyes I can see endless possibilities of success and yes not over night and damn hard work like my old man. But removing that box that limits myself maybe I can have it quicker and be more adaptable to get that freedom I desire. 

Good luck and happy new year in 2015 there is no box…

Life update

@ me myself I – we wanted this update to be a personal one. An honest one that is true to the core on so many levels. Behind the name is a person that has been struggling for a number of months with the dark spirit dog of depression some may call this not so friendly or refer to as the ‘black dog’.
This dark time has been dictating my life and it’s not the first experience I’ve had with my furry enemy. It is all so familiar.
It’s been hard to wake up each day and as a mother and parent I am sure many of you can identify that is not possible with any little person in your household.
I guess the hardest thing has been is to push this  brand and business. I’ve lost passion, drive and mojo. When I used to manage a full time job, a child, a broken relationship and my online passions I find it hard to believe I had time to sleep let alone blog.
I’m burnt out I’m tired and I need to hibernate this winter like a bear.

I hope that I will have some followers left that might want to see the new butterfly that emerges in the spring/summer…so whatever the reason is you follow me please stick around. I know I still have more to give.

Time to relax, release, let go and pray. Good night x

Using negative feedback

In life you are going to come up against negative comments regardless of where you are or what you are doing. It may be a loved one or family member that can not resist to comment on aspect on something you do say wear or be. Which in my opinion is worse to hear as this is someone you care about. There intention may be honorable but it is totally distractive to you.

The negative comment may come from someone else in your life such as a teacher, boss or a stranger. Some times it is good to access what purpose or intention these comments where intended for. I usually make this accessment based on the person giving them.

I think are they usually:
1. a negative person in general? Or
2. are they this critical personally? Or
3. are they trying to be constructive but it’s coming across as negative? Or
4. are they simply a random just hating because they are so depressed and sad with themselves they need to bring someone down to feel better?

In any case I use negative feedback as a determination and turn it into a positive. It’s a free motivator for me to be put down and bounce right on up again into a positive place. And depending on who this negative feedback is coming from as explained above, I usually just pitty the person giving it especially if it’s example 4.

There are honestly better ways to help someone rather then negatively. So if your a receiver of this type of feedback use it to motivate.

If you are the sender of this type of feedback consider this:
A. Will this achieve my desired outcome in ‘helping’ this person?
B. Is this just hurtful and is there a better way to approach helping this person?
C. Perhaps I should try productive and constructive feedback?
D. Picture yourself in there shoes, what would help you?
E. (for all those ‘haters’ in example 4) do I need to get a life and start looking within to see where I am sad and need to intentionally bring someone down?… Perhaps I need to talk to someone.

I hope this has helped you, I want to leave you with a thought:

Positivity is meant for all children to help them grow and shine in a world that needs brightness.